Why Me? Why Not Me? Why At All?
Post date: Mar 22, 2013 4:51:41 AM
Recently, I am driven to ask myself about the title of this post. My drive comes from my Cousin, he has a Brain Tumor as well. His is most likely a different type than mine, and definitely in a different area of the brain. I just learned from Family my Cousin's tumor is actively growing again. He has had some time where nothing was really happening with it, after some pill form chemo it seemed under control; everyone was happy about it. To make a short story long and winded, we are no longer really happy about his progress...it seems things, for now, have taken an unwanted turn. I am left with the question of "why not me? why him?", and I am not arriving at an answer. It seems to me the question of why is one better left to God Himself, not to be really known by us. When we start getting into a "why" scenario, the laws of unintended consequences start to really take hold. When a cause is sought by Humans to mitigate against an effect possibly recurring, things get sketchy. I am not saying don't try to predict the weather so we can be safe and avoid natural disasters...I am saying don't wonder why something happens to someone or why it doesn't happen to someone else. As soon as we spend time in the whys of the situation that perplexes us, we miss out on being able to influence the actualities of the now occurring world. I am not going to wonder why me, or not me, or why him; I am instead going to keep on living, as I think he would want me to do....loving, sharing, experiencing things for as long as I can. Perhaps even after he can't anymore...he will know I love him, and wish him the best...and that is "why" I am going to live....to not have to ask