I Figured it Out...Hope it's Not Too Late

Post date: Mar 28, 2018 11:49:28 PM

There are many things I try to make sure I pass on to my children. Various wisdoms I think are great and they think are average. Today I think I actually have one. I know it's good, cuz it's simple. In fact, you all probably know it already. I am still going to put it down here and try to take credit for something profound--that's how I do. The profound insight which is guaranteed to change your life and everyone around you is.................responsibility. Yup, responsibility. Not very sexy, not very profound. Well, at least, by itself. Coupled with some context, it's pretty damn good. And, it couldn't be more freeing.

What I said to my daughter was that there is no one on earth who can make you feel anything, nor anyone who can make you do anything. Even with a gun to your head, you ultimately have choice. I also said, she ultimately has responsibility for how she perceives her life. She is NOT responsible for things that happen in her life, nobody is. Things can happen and without fail things will happen. Stuff you don't want, couldn't predict, and most likely fear most, WILL happen. --And it will suck. Unless it doesn't, and the suck is up to you; it's not up to anyone else. Whether or not your life sucks is not up to moving, money, or how other people act. It's up to you, and ONLY you to perceive how events affect your life.

This is what I told her, and while I was saying it I was choking on my hypocrisy; and not just a little. I remembered I had forgotten where the source of my life comes from (me). I was pulled back into the undercurrent of normalcy where how my life is comes from outside of me. Where things have to happen to me I think are "good" for my life to be "good". If this doesn't happen, life sucks. If it does happen, life still might suck. The major problem is, it's not up to me. (HINT) it IS up to me. I had just forgotten that. There is a rule I remember from the great ancient philosopher with no name--shit happens.

When it all comes down to the end of life what matters now will matter to you then. Did I really focus on what mattered? Did what mattered to me everyday make a difference for what I am feeling now that I am about to die? It's a question which deserves to be asked in the next traffic jam...